Over The Horizon
by aBeautifulLiar
Summary: She stared at the blood dripping down onto the kitchen floor and smiled a little, because suddenly the world felt like it didn't have so much evil in it anymore. AU; includes most characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Me not own Glee, sadly. **

**A/N: This is an AU fiction, possibly Finchel, maybe not. And if anyone has seen Higher Ground; the inspiration came from there.**

_Home, sweet home._

Rachel looked around her old bedroom and sighed, she had been up for hours, sitting up her bed with her blanket wrapped tightly around her, jumping at the slightest creak in the house, wondering if he would make it into her bedroom tonight. She kept telling herself it wasn't possible, he was too sick. She shook her head and wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes, he couldn't get her, it was going to be okay.

"Rachel, wake up!" She groaned and got out of bed and stumbled from the bedroom, day one of being back home and it was as though she had never been gone. "I have to go to work, I need you to take this up to your dad." Rachel laughed bitterly and shook her head,

"That man is not my dad."

"I don't care right now, just take that up along with his medication. I need you to do some chores and do whatever he wants you to. Be nice, Rachel, he's very sick right now. I have to go, move it Quinn." Rachel looked down at the list in front of her and sighed, wondering when she became a slave to the man she hated so much, the man she grew up referring to him as the monster under the bed.

"Kitten!" She gripped the paper tightly when she heard the all to familiar nickname and gritted her teeth, this would be so much harder than she thought. She grabbed some of the pills her mother had set out and put them on the tray with the rest of his breakfast. She thought about how easy it would be to murder him, knowing that way she would never have to put up with him again. She would never see her friends either, she would be in a prison cell instead and even she knew she would never belong there.

She frowned when she entered his bedroom and looked at the fragile looking man in a wheelchair. She stared at the oxygen tank; designed to keep him alive, but she quickly looked away – she was terrified of her own actions. "Thank you so much, kitten." He smiled at her and then tapped his lap, "Come sit with your dad."

"I have a lot to do." She gulped and looked around the room, shaking already,

"I'm sure your mom will understand, I will tell her how you kept me company.. please kitten, I missed you so much."

"Don't you think I'm a little too old for that sort of thing?" She looked down at the ground, trying not to cry. She wanted to scream that it was his fault she was even sent away in the first place, she would never have ended up at a help camp for rebellious teenagers if it wasn't for _him._

"I don't think you will ever be told to keep me company." He tapped his lap again, both of them jumping when the phone rang,

"I should get that." Rachel muttered as she ran out of his room, towards the phone, she was scared of someone who couldn't even hurt her in this state, she was terrified of him. She wiped the tears away, answering the phone only to hear a sales person on the other end. She almost thanked the man on the other end of the phone for saving her.

She looked at the list of chores, deciding to begin them as she grabbed the ironing board, getting engrossed in the job as she tried to distract herself with thoughts of being back at camp – she belonged there, she had people who understood her. "Kitten." She was brought from her thoughts and she looked towards the stairs,

"What?" She shouted up, harsher than she could have ever intended.

"I need some water.." He sounded so weak, she would have laughed if he didn't scare her so much – the roles were reversed, he was the weak one and she was strong. It was what she always wanted, but it didn't feel as good as she thought it would. She was still weak, she was still that scared, little girl and he was still that horrible monster in her nightmares, nothing had changed. She was just his slave, doing everything and anything to please him now. He was still in complete control and she knew that, so did he.

She bit her lip when she placed the glass of water in his hands, taking a large step back, "Anything else?" He shook his head and smiled at her,

"I can't wait until I'm better again, I want to show you how much I've missed you." She shook her head and bit down on her lip,

"I don't want to know."

"Yes you do, you love our special time together, kitten. I know you do, I could see it in your eyes and you want some alone time right now."

"No.. d-don't do that.. d-don't make out like it was me.." She turned from him as tears ran down her face, trying to hold them in,

"I could always have special time with Quinn." She turned around quickly at the mention of her little sister, and she shook her head,

"No.. please.. d-don't.. I'll do anything. I'm so sorry." She wiped the tears from her face and walked up to him, muttering sorry over and over again, knowing she would do anything to save her baby sister from the same fate. He smiled and put a hand on her face,

"There's my good little girl.. now give me your hand." She nodded and slowly handed him her shaking hand, not bothering to hide the amount of fear she was feeling. She watched him as he moved his hand to his lap and left it there, she closed her eyes and tried to think of something else. She could just see him smiling, he had gotten what he wanted. He always knew how to get her, he always knew what to say. She took a deep, shaky breath and opened her eyes before moving her hand away.

"I really do have stuff to do." She said as she got up and turned around, not wanting to turn to see the satisfaction on his face, not wanting to remind herself what a _whore _she really was. She ran back down the stairs and looked around the kitchen for something to do, something to distract her from the pain that was her entire life. She thought about calling the counsellors back at the camp but then she would have to explain why she felt the need to do so, and she couldn't tell them. She looked at the clock and smiled, just ten more minutes until Quinn would get home and she would be safe until night time.

~ .. ~

Rachel slammed down the tray of food in front of James and went to walk out before he could say or do anything to her. She had been home for over a week now and nothing was getting any better. He hadn't touched her, not through lack of trying, he was still weak but there were the comments. She despised him, and she hated the fact that she had to look after him. He had never looked after her, he was the reason she was the person she was today, he had ruined her and now she had to make him better. He had done nothing for her except make sure she had no life after him, he ruined everything about her life and now she had nothing.

She sighed and he grabbed her arm as she turned around and looked at him, "I do have stuff to do you know, stuff that doesn't include looking after you." She said as she rolled her eyes, pulling her arm from him and wrapping both arms around herself.

"Please kitten, I need help with some of this.." He nodded towards the food and Rachel just shook her head, disgusted,

"You have hands, don't you? Do it your damn self, I am not your slave." She slammed the medication into his hands and grabbed a cup of water from the bedside table, "Take your pills, we wouldn't want anything to happen to you now, would we?" She muttered sarcastically, he sighed and took them slowly. She found herself looking at his oxygen tank, always thinking about how easy it would be to kill him, she would never get caught.. it would be so easy and clean..

She sighed, knowing she wouldn't be able to go through with it no matter how much she hated him. She stayed with him while he ate, wishing he would choke with every bite he took. When he didn't, she looked around after every swallow, wondering why he hadn't died yet. She watched him as he closed his eyes and smiled at her, she never noticed her younger sister standing behind her, not until she spoke.

"I wish he would just die." She turned around and stared at the younger girl, confused, wondering what would make her say it. She shook her head as she looked at her, looking back at the man who caused the same feelings, and that same look in her own eyes years ago. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes already as she put a hand on his shoulder and shook him, all her fear gone for a second as she looked him straight in the face.

"You touched her?" She looked behind for a second, and her sister just stood there with tears running down her own face,

"I'm so sorry kitten, it won't happen again." He croaked, Rachel could only nod and stand up, the anger overtaking any other feeling she had, getting ready to rip that oxygen tank away from him.

"You promised!" She wanted to scream at him, only keeping her voice low for Quinn's sake, he nodded and looked down,

"She reminds me so much of you.. but now you're home. I will love you and only you kitten, it will be okay now." He reached to touch her face but she slapped his hand away and took a step back.

"I will make you pay for this.." He shook his head and watched her run after her sister.

"You knew and you left me!" Quinn slammed the door behind her and grabbed a suitcase, not looking up at the older sister when she walked in,

"He promised me.. I'm so sorry.."

"Are you stupid? Promises don't mean fucking anything to people like him." The younger blonde ran to grab some clothes, tears falling quickly as Rachel grabbed her arm,

"Don't run.. he will pay for this."

"You ran.. what makes you so damn special?"

"I can get you away from here, please don't.. you'll end up on the streets, and I don't want that life for you. I promise.. I can make this better. Please let me make this better." She wiped the tears from her own face as she tried to keep her voice as strong as possible, she couldn't break down, now now, not in front of her sister.

"What do you mean?"

"I know who your dad is, I can get you to him. I know he wants to see you and I will make sure you're safe again."

"Just.. get out and leave me alone. You left me with him, Rachel and nothing you could ever do will make up for that. You knew what he was like, you knew what he did and you just left. I hate you!" Quinn pushed Rachel out of the door and slammed it behind her as she dropped herself to the floor, crying.

Rachel looked at the door for a moment before running down the stairs, she looked around the kitchen and grabbed the pills on the counter. How easy would it be? Nobody would find her, not for a few more hours when her mom came home from work and by then it would be too late. She sighed and chucked the pills on the floor; it was too clean and he didn't deserve that. She frowned and emptied the knife drawer on the floor, smiling at the largest knife before she grabbed it. She looked at the way it glinted in the moonlight and she stumbled back down against the wall. She slid down to the floor, knowing no one was around.

She held the knife up and rolled her sleeves up, shaking at what she was about to do, she just wanted to feel better. She slid the blade across her wrist, avoiding any veins to just see what it felt like. She watched the blood drop onto the kitchen floor and she felt calm for once, she felt like it would be fine, it would be right. She smiled when she thought of Brittany; the girl had been right when she described her first time cutting; _"suddenly the world felt like it had no more evil in it." _

She looked down at her wrist and smiled at the blood, he would get his punishment soon enough and this was hers. She left her sister behind and he had hurt her sister. She was going to make sure he never touched her again, and then she would deal with him, she sighed as she got up and pocketed the knife for a moment before walking to the phone. She picked it up and started to dial the number she had longed to dial for so long now.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" She dropped the phone to the ground and turned around, wide-eyed and scared,

"Phoning a friend." She whispered, her mom shook her head and looked at the mess left behind by Rachel's previous destruction. She looked down at the blood on the floor and the deep cut on her daughter's wrist before she laughed,

"You are weak. You're home now, Rachel, you belong here.. deal with it." Rachel stared at the older woman in shock, wasn't she going to ask what happened? What was wrong with her? Did she hate her that much?

"I don't think Quinn should be here anymore, she doesn't want to be here anymore." She took a step towards her mother who just glared back at her, "I know when someone is upset.. I know when something isn't right. I caught her trying to run away today, do you want her to end up like me? Let her go for just a while, just until she is back to herself, please.."

"Fine, I'll phone him tomorrow but only on the condition you don't run. You stay here, got it?" Rachel nodded and gulped, silently agreeing that she couldn't go back to the life she had before on the streets. James couldn't hurt her anymore, he was too sick to do anything. She sighed and looked down at the floor, hiding the knife in her pocket as she turned to walk up the stairs. "I need you to clean this mess tomorrow morning." Her mom muttered, and Rachel just nodded before walking into her bedroom.

Her own mother didn't care about her, she never would. She sat down on her bed and pulled the knife from her pocket, slipping it under her pillow and she smiled, just knowing it was there made her feel so much better. She was so strong on the outside, but on the inside she was just a scared little girl. Rachel knew she was weak, and she would never let anyone else see that, she wouldn't let anyone get in anymore. Nobody would get close, it was better that way. Better for everyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

_Goodbye, you're safe now. _

"I told you I would protect you and I am sorry I couldn't do it any sooner." Rachel whispered to Quinn as she stood in the doorway of the girls bedroom, not daring to enter, not wanting to upset the girl further. She younger blonde just packed her suitcase, nodding, finally looking up at her older sister after what seemed like so long, and she smiled.

"Thank you so much.. I know it's already happened but I don't think I could handle it anymore.." Rachel slowly took a step in and smiled, too, the smile never reaching her eyes as she wished she could leave this hell as well.

"Are you going back to Horizon?" Quinn took a step towards her sister and wrapped her arms tight around the girl, Rachel tried to nod as she held back the tears, wanting to give her little sister false hope that she wouldn't be okay as well, "Soon, probably." She smiled when they both pulled away.

"Your dad fought really hard for you in court but he lost, so don't be too hard on him, okay?" Rachel whispered to Quinn, kissing her forehead.

"You're going to come and see me, right?" Rachel nodded and looked at the photograph Quinn picked up from the table, it was before James began to hurt her. She was happy, a normal girl. She sighed and tried to stop the tears falling from her eyes as she looked at the girl she didn't recognise anymore in the photograph and touched her face lightly, she was better than the teenager she turned out to be. James has messed it up for her; she had always wanted to be on Broadway, she wanted to be a star on the stage.. she had wanted so much for herself but it had been ripped from her and she could never be that girl again. She would never get her second chance to become the star she had longed to be back then.

"What are you thinking about?" Rachel looked at her little sister and shook her head, the other girl wasn't as young as she had been the first time and she might be okay one day, she could have a chance of becoming everything she longed to be.

"I was just wondering if I would be different if he hadn't.." She bit her lip and put the photograph in the suitcase, seeing Quinn nod out the corner of her eye.

"You were different.. but I remember both Rachel's and.. sometimes, I see her in you.. I don't think much would have changed.."

"I wouldn't have runaway from home, I wouldn't have turned to drugs, I wouldn't have.. done stuff..." Rachel trailed off and shook her head, sighing, "I would probably have been dancing still, still singing.. become a triple threat by now, like I longed to. I would have friends, I would be happy. You still have that chance, okay? So don't ever give up on your dreams." She grabbed her sisters hand and squeezed it tight, desperate for her sister to never change, to never let that monster ruin another life.

Quinn nodded and smiled, "I promise, for you and myself. I will make sure I am happy with dad, besides.. I'm going to live in Florida.. who wouldn't be happy about that?" Rachel just nodded and wrapped her arms tight around the younger girl, wishing she didn't have to ler go.

"When you come over, Rach.. we'll go and relax on the beach, you could do with a bit of sun." She laughed a little and looked around the room as she pulled away,

"It will be weird here without you.. but it's for the best." Both of them smiled and walked out of the room, ready to say their goodbyes before Quinn's biological father turned up to take her away.

~ .. ~

"Mom, can I go back?" She looked down at the floor, biting down on her lip hard,

"No, I still need you to help me around here.. you can go back to school but this is your home now, not Horizon." The older woman just shook her head and sighed before walking out the door to go to work, "James still needs you." Rachel could only nod, not wanting to argue about that man anymore. She watched as she walked out of the door, willingly leaving her eldest daughter with a monster. She sighed as she grabbed his pills and breakfast, walking up the stairs.

"There we go." She muttered, rolling her eyes as she walked into his bedroom, she quickly set his tray down, and turned around.

"No, don't go.. not yet." He grabbed her arm as she went to walk out of his room and turned her around. She could feel herself shaking at his tough already and she tried to stop herself, "I love you, kitten."

"Whatever." She whispered, willing herself to not cry in front of him, wanting to wait until she was alone before she let herself break down.

"Come here.." He tapped his leg with his free hand, but she shook her head,

"Leave me alone." She said through gritted teeth, yanking her arm from his weak hands and walked out. She was stronger than him now, and although she kept forgetting that, she needed to know it. She ran out of the bedroom, and into her own, slamming the door behind her. "Why don't he just due already?" She cried to herself, burying her face into her head into the pillow and screamed.

She wasn't okay, yet.. it wasn't fair that she had to leave Horizon because she had to help her sick step-father. She clenched her fists as she stood up and grabbed the knife she had hid in her room a few nights ago, "I hate him." She whispered as she looked in the mirror,

"He ruined me, he ruined everything." She held the knife tightly until her knuckles turned white, and dragged it across the wrist, watching the blood fall as she whispered over and over to herself how James had ruined her.. how he had made her dirty.

For a moment, she forgot to put up her shield as she closed her eyes and lay down on her bed, she forgot about the strong Rachel she had become over the years. She wanted to start all over again, she wanted to be that safe girl she remembered in her dreams, the little girl smiling at her in those photographs. The dancer, the singer, the popular girl.. everything she isn't now.

~ .. ~

Rachel looked around the room, it was dark, she had spent the whole day worrying about this time.. wondering when it would all begin again. She could feel her whole body shaking underneath the warm covers, she looked over at the door, staring at it.. she hoped that if she wished it wouldn't happen enough, then it would work.

She pressed up against the headboard when she saw the doorknob turn and she realized it wouldn't stop anytime soon, he would carry on until she left and never had to come back. She considered running away just then, knowing she would never end up back at Horizon again – they were her last chance. She knew she would have to sell herself on the streets again to even make it a month out there. She knew that although life was bad, it was only two more years until her eighteenth birthday, two more years until she could go to college and finally be free of him and this thing she called a life.

"Hello kitten." James slowly walked in, still weak but yet stronger than her in every other way. She closed her eyes and looked away from him, wishing she had the guts to murder him. She felt a tear fall down her cheek, "It's okay, kitten.. I'm here now.. no need to cry anymore." He whispered to her as he wiped away the tear, ignoring the way she flinched away from his touch, moving closer to her.

She opened her eyes to see a grin on his face, as though he had just won a million dollars, "Everything is going to be okay." He muttered as his hands moved underneath the covers, she closed her eyes tight when she realized she wasn't going to be able to do anything to stop him, she was frozen.

"Please.. don't." She whispered to him, the tears falling heavier as she felt him slop off her bottoms.

"It's okay.. I love you, kitten.. you're my little girl, I love you. This is how people show love, remember?"

"I-I don't love you.. though.." She winced as she received a slap across the face, knowing it would leave a mark and what hurt the most was knowing her mother would see the mark and not say a word about it.

"Be quiet and just admit that you love me. It's going to be okay.. be a good girl." She nodded slowly, wanting to scream as he pulled off the covers.

~ .. ~

Rachel looked down at her bleeding wrist and sighed, she remembered the first time it had ever happened and the last time it had happened. She remembered when she ran away from him for the last time, how she promised herself that it would never happen again. She would not be a victim again.

She looked in the mirror across from where she was sitting and shook her head, he had got to her again and she didn't do anything about it. If she ran away then her mother would bring back Quinn, and she couldn't do that to her little sister. Not again. She wouldn't be so selfish this time.

She hid the knife again, watching the blood drip down her wrist, wondering if she would get away with murdering James. She shook her head at her own thoughts, she knew she wouldn't though, especially not with her past – she could claim self-defence but nobody would believe her, her mother would stick up for James, saying he was nothing but the doting step-father to the girls. Making up some story about how he was in her bedroom to make sure she hadn't runaway like she had done so many times before.

No, there was no way out for Rachel this time. And she knew it.

She looked around the room and sighed, this was her own personal hell. There would be no going back to Horizon, no more hopeless dreams of going back there. No more friends, no more boyfriend, no more replacement parents. There was just here, James and her ignorant mother – a mother who would choose her husband over her two daughters.

Rachel bit her lip as she walked over to her bedroom door, slowly opening it and looking down the hallway, "About time you woke up, get downstairs." Her mother smiled at her, walking quickly down the stairs into the kitchen. She slowed down when she saw him sitting at the table, insisting that she sat next to him. "Come sit with me, your mother made us a wonderful breakfast."

She shook her her head and looked down at the floor, "Not hungry.." She whispered, looking up at her mother, "I'm going for a run."

~ .. ~

"Where's mom?" She walked into the house, hoping she hadn't been left alone with the man she hated so much.

"She went to work, she wasn't sure if you were actually going to come back." He shrugged and looked back down at his newspaper,

"I have no choice." She muttered, rolling her eyes, trying to walk past him to go back up to her bedroom,

"Come here, kitten." He grinned as he grabbed her arm roughly,

"I-I have some stuff to catch up on before I return to school." She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, as she tried to move from his grip,

"Come on kitten, give your daddy a few minutes."

She shook her head, "You're not my dad." She put her hand on his, trying to remove his tough grip from her,

"Do I have to teach you manners, young girl?" Her body shook as she felt his grip on her arm again, this time a lot tighter. She shook her head, tears running down her face when she saw that familiar look in his eyes – greed, determination, anger..

"Come with me and don't think about pulling any stupid stunts." She nodded, looking at the floor as he stood up. She didn't realize why she was so terrified by the older man – was it the look in his eyes he had every time he set eyes on her? Was it the nightmares he had given her since she was a little girl? Was it the fact that everyone believed him and not her?

She watched him as he pulled off his belt, his hand still around her arm. Hot tears ran down her face, her whole body shook as she closed her eyes, trying to think of her life back at Horizon, how great it was to be safe. She thought about how much James had changed her since she first met him – she had gone from a sweet, caring, funny, confident little girl to a sarcastic, hostile, dirty whore. And now she was back home, with nothing and nobody left, her shield was no longer up as she let herself cry freely. That shield she had created herself since running away onto the street, as she got into Horizon they began to chip away at those walls.

"Bend over." He smirked at her, that evil twinkle in her eyes and she nodded, and did as she was told. She lifted up her top, biting her lip when the metal buckle met with her bare skin, feeling the blood trickle down her back already. She watched as her tears hit the floor, the buckle hit her skin, more blood dropped onto the floor.

"Get up." He finally said, she nodded and got up as slowly as she could, before turning around to look at him. "Up to your bedroom right now." He winked at her as she nodded, walking up the stairs to her bedroom. She looked in the mirror, trying to remember the person she had been when she was with Finn or Kurt. "Time for some fun, kitten." She turned around and nodded slightly, not knowing what else to do as he led her to her small bed in her bedroom.

And little did she know, the nightmare was only beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

**A/N: As this is an AU fic based on 'Higher Ground' – Horizon is the camp name, and Sophie and Peter are the two main counsellors. Also, Cliffhangers are a camp group which is also in the show! Seriously recommend the show, actually. **

_Five months later_

Rachel looked at the door in front of her, it was that time again. Her mother had gone to work, and here she was, all alone with James. It wouldn't be long until he opened the door, she closed her eyes when she heard footsteps. She thought about having just one day to herself, a small break from all this pain. "Hey kitten, ready for some fun?"

He winked at the girl in front of him, getting a sick pleasure when he saw the tears falling down her face, as her whole body shook. He walked over to her slowly, grinning at her tiny body when he tore the covers away from her. He had to admit the weight loss she had been sporting lately was a turn on – even when she had no intention of it being so. "I will ask you kitten, are you ready for some fun?" She nodded slowly, never making eye contact with the man she hated so much. She winced as his hand met her bruised stomach as he lifted her up up, starting to kiss her now exposed stomach.

She closed her eyes when his face met hers and turned away, crying in pain when his hand made contact with her face, "Look at me!" She opened her eyes quickly, wondering if her mother would say anything about the bruises that covered her face and whole body, if she would ever mention the cuts she saw – some of them from her _wonderful _husband, and some of them **because **of him. Rachel knew it would never happen, there was nobody there to help her from this mess. Rachel Berry had finally broken.

"Good girl, now lay back and play along, okay?" She nodded and did as he said, closing her eyes while he had his fun, trying to think of her family back at Horizon, wondering what they were all doing right now. Wondering if she would ever see them again.

~ .. ~

When she woke up again, later in the day, she saw her mother enter the bedroom, "I brought you dinner, James said you're not feeling too good." She looked at her daughter, noticing the new bruise on her face, biting her lip to stop herself from thinking about them too much.

"Not hungry." Rachel muttered, looking away from her mother and out of the window, noticing it was dark again – a whole day had gone by, and he had left her be when he was done with her.

"You've not been hungry a lot lately." Shelby sat on the edge of her daughters bed, almost missing the fiery, sarcastic Rachel.

"Do you blame me?" She finally turned to look at the woman, tears running down her face, "Are you ever going to help me? Why don't you love me?"

"I do love you.. I don't know what to do." 

"Just help me.." She whispered, closing her eyes when the memories of the past six months took over her mind.

"I will.. I-I'll think of something. You need to eat something, you're too thin."

"I told you before, I'm not hungry." Shelby could only nod at the girl before standing up and walking out the door, biting her lip in worry for the shell of her daughter that had been left behind. She knew she should have left James a long time ago, trying to ignore the love she held for a man who had hurt her daughter so much. She sighed, walking down the stairs as she wiped away a tear that had fallen down her face before going into the sitting room to face her husband.

"How is she feeling?" He looked up at his wife, smiling as though he hadn't done anything to her.

"I think she took another overdose." She looked down at the floor, thinking about the distant look in her daughters eyes again – this had happened seven times in the past six months and she hadn't done anything about it before. The man only nodded, not seeming surprised, watching her walk to the phone.

"I think we should send her back to Horizon... she isn't better yet." James sighed, knowing he had gone too far this time as he nodded slowly, not wanting her to go away but knowing when she came back, she would be the same Rachel he enjoyed playing with so much. Shelby quickly dialed the number she had memorized so long ago, smiling when she heard that familiar voice she hadn't heard in over six months.

"Peter.." She started, closing her eyes as she walked away from James to talk to the man who had helped her daughter before, only to have the man who made her that way take it all away again. "Rachel needs to come back, soon." She said, gripping the phone so tight that her knuckles turned white. "I should have phoned sooner, but I thought I could handle it. I thought she would be okay again soon. She has taken seven overdoses, my little girl is laying upstairs after taking her eighth one today and I don't know what to do."

She closed her eyes knowing Rachel would make sure the next one succeeded, the smell of vomit had been evident in the bedroom which meant luckily the drugs were out of her system for now, until the next time she tried.

"Please can I bring her back tomorrow?" She smiled into the phone, tears falling down her face before she thanked him. She turned around and nodded at James before putting the phone down, to walk upstairs to pack Rachel's bags.

~ .. ~

Rachel had no idea where she was going, she didn't even care as long as she was away from James, even if it was only for a few hours. Her mother looked at her for a moment, moving her hand from the wheel to hold her daughters shaking hand, trying to offer comfort. Rachel gave her a small smile before turning back to the window, wondering what it would feel like to die.

She closed her eyes, glad for the peace as she slipped into a light sleep, still aware of the sounds around her but deep enough that she could finally have some rest without worrying about waking up to a sweaty man on top of her. She kept her eyes closed for the whole drive, too tired to even wonder where they were going, too exhausted to even care.

"Rachel, we're here." She finally heard, the car coming to a stop as she slowly opened her eyes, immediately recognising where she was. She could feel her whole body shaking as she sat in the car, her eyes wide with fear, knowing how much she had changed, how everything was so much worse than it had ever been. She knew they would get everything out of her and then they would hate her like they had done before.

"Oh God, we never should have let her go Peter..." Sophie gasped when the car pulled up, barely recognising the girl sat in the front seat.

"Mrs Berry." He walked over to her, knowing Sophie was right, he could see the bruises and cuts on Rachel's face, he had no idea what happened to her and if there was any more but he knew that this wasn't the same Rachel Berry that left six months ago.

"I didn't know what else to do.. I should have brought her back sooner but I was too scared.. I-I'm so sorry." Shelby sobbed as she looked from her daughter to the two counsellors standing in front of her. Sophie nodded and put an arm around the woman, leading her to the cabin to sort the paperwork out.

"Rachel.." Peter walked over to the car, whispering her name as he opened the door, noticing the way her hands shook, the way tears fell down her face. He shook his head, hesitating in putting a hand over hers, almost pulling away when she jumped and looked at him, smiling a little when she recognised him and relaxed quickly. "Come on, let's get you checked in.. okay?" He spoke softly, wondering how fragile she was, as she slowly stepped out of the car.

He managed to hold back a gasp as he took in her appearance, the once curvy teenager was now horribly thin – looking as though she could break. Her once long hair was cut short, her skin was ghost-like, fresh bruises covering the exposed skin – which wasn't much; she was wearing a baggy shirt that covered most of her body, with a pair of loose jogging bottoms. He saw the Rachel he had known for so long now had gone, and he would do anything to get her back.

"Do you need help?" He watched as she stumbled a little, as she tried to walk to the cabin. He stared when she nodded, seeming so weak, as he took her arm in his and held her upright, frowning at how she couldn't stand on her own. Peter couldn't believe this was the girl he had seen and let go home six months ago.

~ .. ~

"What happened?" Sophie sat down across from Shelby, frowning at the woman,

"I should have protected her from him, I don't know what to do.. I don't know why I didn't protect my little girl. I had to bring her here, you don't understand, she tried to kill herself for the eighth time last night and I realized then that I didn't know what to do.." Tears ran down her face as she thought about how much James had stolen from her, wondering what her daughter would be like now if she had never met him.

"You should have phoned us sooner, or took her out of the home. Or maybe even left him, it should never have gotten this far." Sophie was angry, Rachel was like a daughter to her – she saw a bit of herself in the girl, and she would do anything to see that girl again.

"I know, but I couldn't cope on my own and then last night I realized she.. she's not going to be around much longer.."

"Look, this time.. if Rachel actually manages to get through this, you have to leave him or send Rachel away when she leaves here, so he can't get to her."

"I know, I'm going to leave him.. I promise."

"We will have to call the police anyway." Sophie sighed, grabbing the phone as the other woman nodded, her head held low as she tried to think of the Rachel she had brought up, ignoring the conversation Sophie had on the phone.

"_Mommy!" An eight year old Rachel ran into the kitchen, grinning up at her mother as she held out a worm in her tiny hand, "Look at what I found!" She looked at her own hand, smoothing the worm, giggling as it wiggled. _

"_Look at you, Rachel.. you're all muddy.. what do we have here?"_

"_This is George, George this is my mommy!" _

"_Nice to meet you, George.. Rachel you have to put him back, it's cruel."_

"_I know that mommy, and then I have ballet, right?" She smiled up at her mother, excited for her favourite class out of the many she did, _

"_Yes, and then ballet class but first you have to put George back and then clean yourself up." She bent down to her daughter, smiling, _

"_Yes, mommy.. I love you." _

"_I love you too, princess." Rachel kissed her mom's cheek before running out to put the worm back in the garden. _

She watched as Sophie put the phone back down, tears in her eyes, "What did he do to her?"

"I-I don't know.. I work.. he doesn't so I have to.. he hits her and stuff.. I know he rapes her.. I don't know the details.. I kind of.. deny it."

"Okay.. Rachel might tell us when she is ready. What about Rachel? We know about the suicide attempts, she will have to be put on suicide watch for a fortnight and perhaps some time after that, is there anything else we should know?"

"She won't eat.. she won't move out of bed most days.. she's depressed.. she cuts herself." She sobbed, "I shouldn't have let this happen, will she ever forgive me?"

"Probably.. at the moment, she is probably blaming herself. She might be angry at you for a while but I'm sure she will forgive you." Sophie tried to hide the shock at the news of Rachel cutting herself and not eating – both of them were the most unlikely things she could have ever thought Rachel doing.

"Sophie, do you want to check Rachel and her bags in now?" Peter opened the door, nodding at Sophie to leave so he could speak to the crying woman alone. She nodded, grabbing Rachel's bags that the mother had brought in with her, walking outside.

"Oh.. Rachel." She whispered, unable to hide her shock as Peter had managed to do. Rachel looked down at the floor, trying to stand on her own, wanting to be the strong person everyone remembered. "Lets get you checked over, okay?"

"I-I don't want the nurse.. s-she.." Rachel suddenly said, remembering the looks she had received from the old woman before; the look of disgust, disappointment. Rachel didn't know if she could handle that again.

"Do you want me to do it?" Sophie smiled at the girl, taking a step forward to pull her into a hug, tears falling down her face once she wrapped her arms around her body, feeling every bone as she squeezed her gently. Rachel could only nod as she sobbed gently, accepting the first form of comfort she had from someone that wasn't herself, in six months.

"We have to check your bags first, you now the routine." Rachel nodded again, following Sophie into the next room, wondering how long it would take for them to heal her, wondering if it was too late.

~ .. ~

Sophie walked out of the room, leaving Rachel to be on her own for a few minutes, knowing she needed time to process being back here. She realized Peter was still talking to Shelby, wondering if the woman was waiting to say goodbye to the daughter she had abandoned these past six months. "I will go say goodbye, thank you for everything." Shelby finally said as Sophie opened the door, letting her through as she walked into the other room.

Sophie shook her head, tears glazing her eyes as she looked at Peter, "I had to check her over.. she asked me to do it because she thought the nurse would judge her." She sighed, letting Peter wrap his arms around her, "I tried to act normal, I tried so hard but you didn't see her, Peter.. he has hurt her in so many ways." She closed her eyes, trying to forget the memory of Rachel's weak, shaking body as she stood up, letting Sophie look over some untreated wounds.

"She is severely underweight.." She looked up at him, handing over the folder she had been holding in her arms,

"Seventy six pounds? How the hell could this happen in six months?" Peter looked up from Sophie's notes, shaking his head, "She should be in hospital.. she can't stand on her own." 

"We can't let her go anywhere... we only just got her back, no hospital is going to help her like we can." Sophie finally let go of the tears she had been holding back, sobbing into her hands, relaxing when Peter stood up again and wrapped his strong arms around her.

"He hit her with the buckle end of his belt.. there are scars and fresh marks over her back and legs, she has various bruising, severe bruising on her thighs.." She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, "Cuts all up her arms, most of them self-inflicted. Abrasions to her face, as you have seen. She hardly spoke to me, she wouldn't tell me anything when I asked.. we need to get her weight up first. Hopefully she will open up to Kurt like she used to."

She sighed, pulling away from him, "She's going to be okay, she's back home." He nodded in agreement, going back to the notes and the file he had been supplied with from reception. "Have you read the file?" He asked her, watching when she shook her head,

"She has been to hospital twelve times in the past six months and nobody said a word. Broken ribs, five out of the eight overdoses ended up in hospital admission. She has been in hospital twice for passing out, having to be put on a drop to get her sugar levels back up.. she hit a vein while cutting herself twice.." He sighed, "She needs more help than last time, we never should have let her go home.. I should have known this would happen."

"We can't blame ourselves, it's not going to help her.. we need to help her heal before we blame anyone.." She sighed when he spoke, "Come on.. lets get her settled in, make sure everyone knows she's back."

"You should go first, tell them what is going on.. I don't want them reacting the way I did when I first saw.. it won't make her feel better." Peter nodded and walked out of there quickly, trying to decide what he was going to say to the rest of the Cliffhangers.

Sophie looked over the file for a few minutes, knowing that Rachel would need some alone time and some time to talk to her mother. She sighed, trying to give more time for Peter to talk to the group, knowing this would be difficult for them to understand. She sighed, looking at her watch for a while before deciding it was time for Rachel to say goodbye to her mother, and time to get settled in – for the second time.

~ .. ~

Rachel looked at her mother, tears falling down her face as they said their goodbyes, "I'm so sorry, baby.. I should have protected you sooner."

"Why didn't you?" Rachel looked up at her,

"I don't know.. I'm weak.." She put a hand on her daughters face, wiping away the tears,

"You could have saved me.. I could have been the little girl you always wanted." She sobbed and looked down at the floor,

"I know, I am so sorry baby girl.. I promise next time will be different, he will be gone.. I will make sure of it."

"You promise?"

"I promise, I love you and Quinn more than anything and I am never going to let a man get between that again. You're going to get the help you need and then it will be okay.. I love you."

"I love you too, mommy." Shelby looked down at her daughter, surprised at the weakness in her voice, almost child-like, it was in that moment that she truly realized she had to stop protecting James, she had to make sure he never hurt another child again.

"I'm going to make sure he gets put away this time, okay? And you're going to have to do the same."

"I don't want everyone to know.. I don't want them to hate me. I don't want people to judge me.." She whispered, her whole body shaking at the thought of standing up in court in front of him and other people.

"No one will hate you.. I promise that everything is going to be okay, he will get what he deserves." Rachel nodded, her eyes jumping to the door as it opened, revealing Sophie.

"We need to get you settled in." She smiled at them both, as they nodded and looked at each other, their arms around the other once more in a silent understanding.

"I will see you soon, princess. I love you so much, I'm so sorry." She said once more, kissing her daughter on the forehead before leaving the room, Sophie following after her. "Do you think she will be okay?"

Sophie nodded, "She will be one day.. it's going to take time but she's strong, she will make it through."

"Thank you.. I will speak to you soon." She smiled sadly as she walked out, making her way slowly to the car, shaking her head at the thought about how far she had let this go, how it all had to end soon.

**A/N: All characters and their new AU personalities will be in the next chapter. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: See last chapters.**

**A/N: Totally had a thought I should have changed Peter and Sophie into Emma and Mr Shue.. but they annoy me so, that may happen at some point in this story. **

_You've changed._

"Look, I know this may be a little scary for all of you, but I need you all to stay calm and don't act shocked when she walks in.. okay?" Peter looked around the group as they all nodded slowly, having no idea who or what they were talking about. He found himself glad when Sophie finally walked in with Rachel,

"Rachel?" Kurt was the first to speak as he walked up to the girl he had been so angry with for not writing back to him, taking one look at the girl before he realized why she had never been able to pick up a pen and send a few simple words. In just a matter of seconds, his anger was gone as he wrapped his arms around the tiny girl. "I missed you." He whispered, tears falling down his face as he felt the bones through Rachel's baggy clothing, noticing the different immediately between the girl who left the camp, and the girl who came back.

He looked back at Finn, who hadn't moved since Rachel walked in, tears glazing his eyes as he took in the sight of his (not so secret, secret) girlfriend. "Finn..." He muttered, smiling when the taller boy stood up and walked over to Rachel, fear evident on both their faces. He was scared of what had happened to her, knowing this wasn't the girl he had fallen in love with but still feeling that overwhelming feeling whenever she walked into the room.

Rachel looked at him as he took a few steps closer to her, suddenly terrified of him and what he was capable of doing to her, and she took a few steps back to hide behind Sophie. She noticed the hurt on his face but she had to protect herself, she wasn't going to let anyone hurt her ever again. Sophie shook her head at Finn, signalling for him to sit back time. He looked defeated as he sat down – he had been hoping for a romantic reunion, if he was honest.

Sophie sat Rachel down between her and Kurt, making sure she wasn't by any of the boys apart from Kurt – Rachel trusted him no matter what, the two had clicked the moment Kurt arrived at the camp a few weeks after Rachel had, and for a while, Kurt had been the only one Rachel hadn't name-called, or threatened. He was the beginning of her healing process. "Okay, guys.. we're going to do something different tonight... I want you to just sum up in a few words, what you missed most about Rachel." She took the stick from Peter, passing it to Kurt first.

"I missed our late night talks, the way you felt like you could open up to me.. I miss the way I felt the same about you." Tears fell down his face as he passed the stick onto Mike, "I missed kissing your ass at soccer." He grinned a little and then shook his head, "Nah.. I missed seeing you smile."

He smiled and passed the stick to Quinn, "I guess... strange as this sounds, I missed our arguments.. it's been really quiet without you and I missed that." She passed it onto Santana who shrugged,

"I missed our little bitch outs.. nobody squares up to me apart from you." Mercedes took the stick and sighed,

"I missed your confidence.. and how you think you can do everything and anything, even when you knew you couldn't." She finally handed it to Finn who looked up at his girlfriend,

"I missed you.. everything about you, I missed it all." He shrugged, handing it over to Peter.

"I missed that wonderful, yet annoying sarcastic nature of yours." He grinned at her, trying to find a little bit of hope in her eyes but there was nothing. Sophie took it from him and smiled, squeezing Rachel's hand, "I missed the way you could make me laugh, no matter what." She hated to see the strong girl break, after everything she had been through and this was going to be it.

"Okay, I think we should keep it short tonight.. Rachel is probably really tired.. I will have to stay with you tonight." She looked at the confusion and concern on their faces as she spoke and she wondered how she could tell the teenagers that because their friend, and fellow camper was so underweight, she could suffer from heart failure at any point?

She took a deep breath and looked over at Peter, "We need to keep an eye on Rachel until her weight is back up." Rachel looked at her, confusion and embarrassment clear on her face,

"So.. why do you need to keep an eye on her? You never had to watch me during the night..." Quinn – the known anorexic of the misfit group of teenagers, the one Rachel took no shame in making fun of all the time because of it, bit down on her lip in pure jealousy as she looked the girl up and down.

"Rachel has a severely low BMI, at the moment she is at risk of heart failure, seizures, she could stop breathing and Peter and I can help her, we cannot leave that pressure on everyone else."

"Shouldn't she be in a hospital.. or a clinic or something?" Mike looked at Rachel, half expecting her to shout at them for talking about her like she wasn't in the room, but she just sat there and focused on the floor as they all spoke over her.

Sophie sighed, "It's already been tried.. it got worse. It will be okay though, Rachel needs all of us to pull together and help her through this." They all nodded, only concern in their eyes as they stared at the shell of a girl that had been left by the man they hated so much right then. "Come on, let's go to bed, guys." Sophie stood up, causing Rachel to stand up as well as she clung onto Sophie's hand, not wanting to let go.

"She will be okay, won't she?" Finn whispered to Kurt as they trailed behind the group on their way to the cabin they all shared,

"I hope so.. we will help her through this..." He sighed, looking down at the ground, "I was so angry at her, I should have known something was wrong. She wrote to me every single day for the first month and then nothing.."

"Don't blame yourself, she never should have been sent home in the first place."

"I just wish we could have helped her.. look at her, Finn.. she's broken. The Rachel we both knew, the Rachel we loved.. she's gone and I don't know if she's coming back."

"We will, I know she will.. it's Rachel, she will find herself back one day. She just needs to be away from him." He clenched his fists at the thought of the asshole hurting his girlfriend, making her the person she was today. He shook his head, watching Rachel stumble a little, feeling faint as Sophie wrapped an arm around the girl while looking terrified, shaking her head at Peter in pure uncertainty.

"Out of all the people to have anorexia, I would never have said it would be Rachel." Quinn said, staring at the girl ahead of them, jealous of the way she was being treated. "I mean, I'm not saying she was fat but she ate loads and she was always taking the piss out of me.."

"What? Are you jealous?" Puck said – he hadn't been able to speak up in group, as he was on 'silent restriction' for punching _a few _things, and people the day before. He finally broke his silence to stare down the girl, "You really are pathetic. People change, something happened to her, something bad.. she's not like you, she didn't think being thin would make her mommy love her more." He glared at the girl before running up ahead to Peter.

"You shouldn't be jealous, Quinn... she's very sick." Mike frowned, nudging her gently,

"I'm not jealous.. I'm curious."

"Don't go asking her any questions, not unless she tells you stuff.. leave her be." She nodded gently, not really paying attention as she watched Rachel being helped up the stairs by Sophie, hardly being able to walk on her own. They all looked at each other as they got into the cabin, all wondering the same thing – _what happened to you, Rachel Berry?_

~ .. ~

Sophie sighed as she looked at the girl asleep on the bed, the girls eyes fluttered as she had a nightmare, her fragile body turning every few seconds in an attempt to rid the man that haunted her nightmares. "Will she be okay?" Kurt crept into the doorway, having come from the boys dorm,

"I hope so.. maybe one day.. it will take a long time."

"We can help her, right?" Sophie nodded, her hand still in Rachel's as it had been when the girl managed to fall asleep a few hours ago. "Get some sleep, Kurt."

"What's the point? I have to be up in one hour for the infamous stroll in the deep, dark forest. I'll just take a shower or something." He rolled his eyes, leaving the room to go back to the boys bathroom.

"S-Sophie?" The woman looked down at Rachel when she heard the faint whisper,

"Hey, you still have a while left to sleep.. everyone else has to leave for a hike." She squeezed the girls hand gently, trying her best to smile,

"I don't feel too good." She flinched a little as Sophie lifted a hand up to her boiling forehead,

"When did you last eat something?"

"I had.. some cucumber five days ago.." Rachel shrugged lightly, already feeling exhausted the moment she opened her eyes,

"You're going to eat today.. you will feel better once you do." She bit her lip when the girl shook her head, "We have the rights to put you on a feeding tube, it's your choice." She tried to sound firm, wanting to cry at what the strong girl had become.

"Something small?" She nodded, "For now, yes.. but then you will have to be put on a meal plan like Quinn."

"Don't you dare compare me to her, at least I don't starve myself for attention from my dearest mommy." She spat back, proving the old Rachel was still in there somewhere,

"You are both in the same boat, somewhat.. you will need to support each other."

"I don't need support, especially not from her. She will probably ask for weight loss tips, ask me if I want to be her anorexic buddy.. it's not going to happen. She doesn't understand, she never will.. I'm not starving for attention, I'm not doing this to be thin! Nobody will ever understand."

"Help me to understand then, Rachel." 

"I just want to control _something_, anything..." Rachel muttered, tears pouring from her eyes, sitting up to look Sophie straight in the eyes,

"Can I hug you? Will that be okay?" Sophie knew better than to just touch the scared girl with no warning, smiling when Rachel nodded and wrapped her own arms around Sophie's shoulders.

"I miss me.. he ruined everything before, he took everything from me and I'm letting him win, I don't know how to stop anymore. I don't know if I want to."

"It's going to be okay.. we will take it step by step, focusing on food first." She brushed some hair from Rachel's face, smiling at her, "We need to get you to a healthy weight, so we can focus on the emotional side of things as well."

"I want him to go away, I want to forget about him but I can't.. make him go away." She whispered, looking down at her hands as she felt Sophie hold her tighter, "I just want to forget."

"I know you do but you're completely safe now, we will never let anything happen again."

"What if he gets sick again and I have to go look after him?"

"From what I heard it won't happen, your mom won't let it happen." Rachel shook her head quickly, wiping her eyes when Kurt walked into the room,

"You're awake early." He said, staring at her,

"So are you.."

"I did miss you.. I was so worried, and a little angry when you stopped writing but I know why now." He quickly walked to his best friend, taking her in his arms as he rubbed the crying girls back, "I won't let anything happen to you ever again, I will make sure nothing happens to you."

He sighed and played with her hair, "Princess, you want help getting to the bathroom and getting changed and stuff? I don't mind, I know you would do the same for me." Rachel looked at Sophie who nodded, knowing the two best friends would always look out for each other.

"I need you in the medical room afterwards, Kurt are you okay to bring her? I need to check your heart rate.." Kurt nodded, helping Rachel get out of bed.

"Anything in particular you want to wear?" He picked up a baggy jumper, a hoody and a pair of jogging bottoms, laughing, "So much choice!"

"I don't mind.." Rachel bit her lip, reaching for the hoody and a pair of jogging bottoms, whispering a thank you as Kurt helped her to the bathroom slowly, as her body seemed to be getting weaker and weaker with every step.

~ .. ~

"Arms over the head." Kurt grinned after Rachel finished washing her face, having been too weak to make it to the shower. Rachel ignored the gasp that came from her best friend as he saw her tiny body, "You need to eat.. I can see all your bones.. you're a skeleton."

"Exactly what I want to look like." She slowly took off her bottoms, ignoring Quinn as she walked into the bathroom, rubbing her tired eyes.

"I don't care what you want to look like, you're going eat whether you like it or not." Kurt snapped at her, the pain in his eyes as he looked at his best friend, the shadow of the person who had left six months before. "You can barely stand on your own, you can't do stuff on your own.. is this the life you want?"

"Well, I don't really plan on living that long, so yeah." Rachel snapped back at him, anger flaring in his eyes as they both chose to ignore Quinn's request to use the shower.

"How dare you come back here with the intention of leaving me again! How dare you?"

"Why do you even care? Nobody else does, nobody stopped him.. nobody wants to help me..." The girl finally broke down, "Nobody stopped him." She whispered as she fell to the ground, tears falling down her pale face.

"I care because I am your best friend and I will never let anything happen to you again. Look, after my drunken mothers demise, a lot of money has been left to me, so when we both get out of here.. I will make sure we have somewhere to live together. I will make sure he, or anyone else for that matter, never hurt you again."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise, you will be safe from now on.. but you need to help me, too.. you need to make sure you're okay enough to be able to get out of here with me."

"I will." Rachel smiled for the first time, as Kurt wiped away her tears before helping her to stand again, getting her clothes on, both of them still choosing to ignore the other girl in the room.

"You look terrible."

"Gee, thanks." She rolled her eyes, finally acknowledging the girls presence,

"You said those exact words to me when I first came here."

"And?"

"And you look a lot worse than I ever did." Quinn stared at her, biting down on her lip,

"Again, gee.. thanks." Kurt shook his head, "Just leave it, Quinnie, we don't need your help." He grabbed Rachel's hand, walking out of there slowly so the girl wouldn't collapse. "Come on, let's go check if your heart is still working for you." He winked, still grinning as they walked out, leaving Quinn alone.

~ .. ~

Rachel looked down at the food in front of her, glad Kurt had picked it for her, knowing she would have walked out if she had to do it herself. She sighed and bit her lip, almost forgetting how to pick up a fork, she hadn't done so in a long time. She could see Peter and Sophie on the other table, her hands shaking at the thought of breaking her own control.

For her, it was not about being thin, it was not about control, actually.. it was not about fading into the background. No, for her it was all about dying, killing herself was the only way she didn't fail. And now it was going to end, she would eat and she wouldn't be able to stop again, she would eat and everything would end. She would eat and she would feel again, there would be reasons to live, she would eat.. and she would stop hating herself.

Kurt sat across from his best friend, taking a bite from his food but not taking his eyes off her, he sighed at the thought of how long it had been since they sat down, and the girl had just been staring at her untouched food. This wasn't right, it wasn't Rachel, this shouldn't be happening.

Finn looked at the girl he loved so much, the way she was refusing to eat, he couldn't believe it was happening. He had known things were bad at home, he – like Kurt – had read the letters. They both knew something was wrong, and she had come back like this. He couldn't believe one man had the power to make the strongest girl he had ever met, like this.

Rachel looked at everyone, wondering what to do. Should she eat like they want? Or should she continue on her suicide mission? She never had to go back to James, she would never have to see him again, Kurt said so.. but if she was still sick, she would never be allowed to leave. She sighed, pushing the plate away as she stood up.

Sophie was the first at her side, the first to catch her as she fell. Peter was the one who grabbed the now unconscious girl, lifting her easily and taking her from the cafeteria. Finn got up to follow but was stopped by Puck. Nobody bothered stopping Kurt though, he ran out after the three, sobbing.

"She will get better, right? I mean.. I eat now..." Quinn looked down at her cereal, shrugging her shoulders as she looked around the table.

"I hope so, I really hope so." Santana muttered, pushing away her own plate, none of them feeling like eating after seeing the girl who had always seemed like the strongest out of all of them, so broken.

"We should go get ready, there is no way we will be allowed of this hike." Mercedes said, breaking the silence as they all stood up.

~ .. ~

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Kurt cried, his arms wrapped around himself when Peter lay the ghostly white girl on the bed,

"Can you go get the doctor?" He asked Sophie, watching the woman run out and then looking back down at Rachel.

"Peter.." Kurt didn't bother to hide the tears in front of him, he couldn't stand seeing his best friend like this, it all hurt too much. He cried more than he had at his mother's funeral, he cried more than he had when he tried to murder his own father, and when he was arrested, more than he had when his father rejected him for the final time.

"She hasn't eaten in so long.. she is severely underweight.. she's in danger of so many heart problems.." He muttered, seeing to Rachel.

"Can I stay? Please Peter, I promise I'm not trying to get out of the hike.. Rachel and I will go on a very long one when she gets better, please.. I'm begging you.. I can't.. I can't leave her like this.. please.." Peter nodded,

"Only you though." He nodded, kneeling down by his best friends side as he grabbed her hand, silently praying for her. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: See last chapters. **

**A/N: So yeah.. I'm stupid and put Quinn in this twice as someone pointed out to me; can you edit chapters without deleting them? I wanted to change Rachel's sister to Brittany but I don't wanna delete the chapters. So yes, if her sister comes into any future chapters – her name is now Brittany because I am the biggest fail ever.**

_Deal with your demons. _

Kurt refused to move from Rachel's side, watching as the doctor spoke to Sophie after Peter had to join the hike with the rest of the group. "What is it?" He whispered when the doctor walked out to talk on the phone.

Sophie just shook her head and frowned, "She's severely malnourished... she hasn't been getting the vital vitamins she needs.. she the doctor will prescribe some for her but if she continues this way, she will increase the risk of respiratory infections, kidney failure.. she could have a heart-attack.. she came too close today." The woman took a deep breath, trying her best to explain it to the boy who cared about the small girl so much,

"She is going to have an IV inserted into her arm soon, we can treat her from her but if it does get worse, then she will be put in a hospital and she won't be allowed to legally return here." Kurt just nodded, biting his lip, "See these dark circles under her eyes?" Sophie pointed lightly, watching Kurt nod and bite his lip,

"It's an indication of iron deficiency; the reason she collapsed was due to malnutrition and dehydration. Look..." She lightly punched Rachel's arm, releasing and watching as the skin very slowly bounced back, before doing the same to her own skin, watching it bounce back a lot quicker. "That is a sign of severe dehydration, as is her weak pulse.. and if you feel her hands... can you feel how cold they are?"

Kurt nodded, tears falling down his face as he grabbed the girls hand, "The light blue tinge to her lips when she collapsed, we should have known earlier.." The woman sighed, "We missed everything because we didn't know what we were looking for."

"Was Quinn like this when she came here?"

"From what I heard, she had just come from the hospital, straight here.. so no." She frowned and put a hand on the boys shoulder, "At the moment, Rachel is on vitamins, iron supplements for her anaemia, anti-depressants, she will be on an IV tube until she feels a little better and then if she refuses to eat, she will be on a feeding tube. She will have to be watched all night, and put on a heart monitor only when she is sleeping as she has a heart arrhythmia."

"S-so.. if she starts to eat again, she will be okay, right?"

"It's not just about that, Kurt, we will have to work on the psychological factors that led to this in the first place.. and that may take a lot longer than the physical side."

Kurt just shook his head, staring up at her, "We all know what led to this, it was that bastard you let her go home to."

"We didn't have a choice."

"You could have done more, but instead the two of you just let her go and forgot all about her. Are we that disposable to you?" Sophie knew the boy was angry, and somewhat right, they hadn't forgotten about the girl though, but she knew they could have done so much more to get her back, they could have done more to make sure she never left in the first place.

"I wish we had done more, but she's back now and we'll all be here for her." Kurt nodded, gripping Rachel's hand tighter, as he sobbed.

"I will never let anything happen to her ever again." He muttered, Sophie looked at him and nodded, knowing exactly how he felt, nodding her agreement as she stroked Rachel's hair as the girl slept, both of them waiting for the doctor to come back.

~ .. ~

Rachel opened her eyes slowly, looking around the room as she did, trying to concentrate on the face she could only just make out. "Rachel?" She smiled at the voice, her best friend didn't hate her for not eating, it was a relief.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, a tear running down her face, her own hand searching for Kurt's as she reached for him.

"Don't worry, you will be okay soon. I promise." Kurt tried to smile at his best friend, smoothing down a stray hair from her face. Sophie looked on at the two, hoping that their friendship would be enough to pull the girl from the depression she found herself in. "Everything will be okay." Kurt whispered, squeezing Rachel's hand gently.

Sophie stepped forward, "Rachel.. you were severely dehydrated and starved. That is why you collapsed, while you were out.. a doctor came and put this IV drip in for you but if you don't eat soon, she will waste no time in inserting a feeding tube. You've not been here for long and you've already lost four pounds."

"I didn't mean to.." She whispered, looking up at the woman, "It's so hard... I look at food and all I can think about is him and how dirty he made me feel. I can't think about anything else when I look at it all, I want to die and I don't know how to stop thinking that."

"We can work on that over time, I can help you." Kurt kissed the side of her head, smiling as best he could, the worry evident in his eyes as he looked over at Sophie.

"You can move around, if you feel up for it." Rachel nodded and sat up with the help of the other two, "You have to eat, even if it's something small." Sophie continued as they helped her out of the bed, "This can be moved around." She said as she wrapped Rachel's hand around the metal pole of the drip, watching Rachel step forward as Kurt clung onto her other arm.

"Is there anything you want?"

"Other than Horizon gruel?" Kurt muttered, causing Rachel to laugh,

"I don't mind.." She bit down on her lip, smiling at Kurt as he squeezed her arm in gentle encouragement, "What about toast?" He whispered to her, smiling when she nodded. Rachel bit down on her lip, uncertain about the whole thing – at least with the feeding tube she could close her eyes and pretend it wasn't happening. With food, she had to look down at it and remember him.

"_Are you really going to eat that, kitten?" Rachel looked at James as he walked into the kitchen, she stared at the food and sighed, her body shaking when she felt him behind her.  
>"Leave me alone." She whispered as he wrapped his grubby arms around her, <em>

"_You're getting a little round around the edges baby, I would watch that if I was you." He said, turning her to face him as he leaned in to kiss her roughly on the lips. She nodded, turning around to put the cereal in the sink before running up the stairs. _

_She looked in her bedroom mirror and sighed, thinking maybe if she was nothing but skin and bone then he would hate her, maybe he wouldn't find her attractive enough to do anything to. She sucked in her stomach, lifting up her top and sighing. She wondered when she had become like Quinn, she had never wanted to be this person but it was the only source of control. She had nothing else she could control; she couldn't control him coming into her bedroom at night, she couldn't control her mother leaving her every single day to go to work, and she wasn't able to control him hurting Brittany. There was nothing she could control, except this. _

Rachel sat down slowly, ignoring the looks she was getting from the other teenagers at the camp. She looked around the table she had sat with her friends so many times, kind of glad they were still on the hike because she already had Kurt and Sophie watching her every move.

She bit down on her lip as she picked at the piece of toast, tears falling down her face when she heard his voice, _"You're getting so thin, Rachel, you know I don't like it. We need some meat on your bones." She shuddered at the feel of him on top of her, not being able to stop the smile though, he didn't like those thin women so maybe he would stop liking her. _

"Rachel, I know why you are doing this but I promise that nothing is going to send you back to him, not even your mother this time. And even if she tried, I will fight to the very end for you, it will not happen. He's not going to hurt you anymore, whether you starve yourself or not." Sophie put a hand on the shaking girls and smiled, "I promise you that not eating will not change anything, you will still be here and away from him and from what I hear, you're never going to go back there if Kurt has any say in it."

Kurt nodded, looking down at his own food as he watched his best friend to struggle with one bite of toast, "Please, Rachel." He whispered, dropping his spoon as he reached for her hand, gripping it tightly as the girl nodded. He smiled at the familiar look of determination in her eyes. Rachel closed her eyes tightly, taking a small bite of the toast, chewing on it slowly but eventually swallowing it – a look of triumph on her face.

"Good girl.." Sophie whispered, playing with Rachel's hair as she spoke, looking at the food. "Just the one piece if you want, and then we can go back to the cabin, okay?" Rachel nodded, closing her eyes to hide the tears. She could hear her him but the words were slowly being replaced by Kurt and Sophie. She knew deep down they were right, the man who abused her for so long as wrong.

She took her next bite, thinking about Finn, Kurt, Sophie, Peter... anybody else but him. Slowly, she found it was working, just don't think about him, she kept repeating to herself. _What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. _

~ .. ~

Finn kicked the leaves at his feet, he didn't want to be stuck on the hike, he wanted to be sitting at his girlfriends bedside, letting her know how much he loves her, how much he cares about her. He wanted to be the one to let her know everything would be okay, he would be one holding her hand. But instead, he was stuck in the middle of nowhere, walking to nowhere.

He kicked a nearby tree in a sudden burst of anger, how dare Peter make him go on this stupid walk when Rachel could be dying? Or worse. Why would he do that to him? He may never see her again, "Way to look on the bright side, Finn." He muttered to himself, sitting down before he had the chance to damage anything else around him. He was only glad they were heading back today so he could ignore the rules about going into the girls bedroom and let her know he was here for her. He hoped she knew he had been forced to go here, and if he had the choice, he would be there for her.

"Finn!" He groaned as the man came running up to him, Finn could not be bothered with another explanation as to why he had to come but Kurt got to stay behind. "That was Sophie, Rachel woke up and she ate something." Finn had to turn around to hide the smile on his face, still trying to ignore Peter – the man was like a father to him, so it was hard to be so annoyed with him but he was proud at how well he had been doing for the past couple of days.

"Rachel has been asking for you so we're going to head back." Finn couldn't hide his grin that time, getting up to quickly run back to the camp-site to pack up. "Finn, she is strong, she will be okay." Peter said, grabbing Finn's arm before he could go anywhere.

"I know." He smiled, turning to grab everything as Peter explained to the rest of the group what was going on. Finn wondered if Rachel would be on the next hike with them, it hadn't been the same without her – there were hardly any arguments, he missed her sarcasm, thinking of a new comment she would come up with every time they stepped in mud, or something.

~ .. ~

Rachel sighed, looking at the book she held in her hands, she could barely make out the words, she was too busy thinking about Finn and if he still wanted to be with her despite the new problems she returned with. "Rachel?" She looked up, smiling when she heard his voice.

"Finn." She whispered, sitting up a little in her bed, he looked from her to the IV tube running out of her pale skin, she shrugged. "Just to keep me hydrated for a while." She muttered, he nodded,

"It makes you look.. fragile.. maybe I should get used to it." He sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." She played with the edges of her blanket, looking up at Finn when he put his hand on top of hers. "You are amazing, Rachel.. I don't care about this, well obviously I do because you're hurting yourself.. and you're all broken.. but it doesn't matter.. because.. well.." She laughed, interrupting him as he looked at her, confusion in his eyes,

"You're rambling." She said, shaking her head as she turned her hand around so they were palm to palm, he nodded and laughed as well.

"I just want you to know that I love you despite all of this."

"I love you too."

"And I am here for you but I just need you to know that I don't want you to do this to yourself anymore. You deserve better, James will not get near you anymore, I promise. If I even see him.. I don't know what I will do but I promise there is no reason to be scared of him. We are going to protect you no matter what it takes."

She nodded, "Finn?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"This is going to sound silly, but can you hold me for a while, just while I fall asleep?" She blushed, looking down at their hands, smiling when he nodded as he moved up the bed to make sure he didn't touch the tube as he wrapped his arms around her tiny body. "I don't want to do this anymore. I promise, I just need to work on some stuff and then I will be okay." She whispered and he nodded,

"Take al the time you need, I'll be here." She smiled, closing her eyes and falling asleep as she held onto him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

_Moving on_

Rachel looked down at the food in front of her, still trying to focus on everyone else instead of the man that remained in her head. She knew not to listen to him now, and she tried hard not to but she knew how difficult it would be for a while. Her psychologist had explained that to her, she told her that she needed to focus on those who make her feel good about herself, those who loved her more than anybody else. She needed to think about the words and the faces of those who would never hurt her and soon the pain would stop.

Rachel had been at the only place she could ever call home for over three weeks now, her psychologist drove out twice a week from the hospital, something she was glad for. She needed the outside contact, she needed someone who wasn't biased to tell her that it was all going to be okay and recovery would be a long process. She needed to hear that.

She sighed again, picking up the fork and playing around with the food on the plate before taking a bite, she could feel eyes on her but she refuses to look up, knowing if she did she would probably go mad and walk off. And she knew that would not solve much at all.

She took another bite, still refusing to look up, eyes burnt into her and she hated feeling of being watched but it was something she knew she would have to live with for a while now. After a few more bites, she looked up at Sophie, her eyes asking the question that both of them had been waiting for – _Is that enough yet?_

Of course it wasn't enough, she asked the same thing every single time and Sophie would shake her head, looking down at her own food. Rachel was glad to be around Sophie most of the time, she was the only one who wouldn't stare at her and would wait for Rachel to look up before she said or did anything. She knew it was better that way, but she couldn't bring it up.

She had noticed how much she had changed, which meant others noticed it as well. She wouldn't speak unless spoken to, the sarcastic comments that once defined her were becoming difficult to even think of, let alone get out of her mouth and in group, she would go bright red and look down at the floor when asked a question. She would often find herself staring at the mirror, asking herself where she had gone. She would stare into her eyes and shake her head, she knew where she went, but.. when would she come back?

He was gone now, so why didn't the Rachel everyone knew come back? She could see the pain in her eyes and she knew everyone else saw the same. She didn't feel comfortable at her home anymore, she didn't want to go back to the hell she had been forced to call home was once, but at the same time she didn't want to stay here.

She hated being here, she hated everything that reminded her of Rachel Berry. Her friends would look at her and wonder where she was, they would look at her when she did or said something that was so unlike her old self. She hated catching their glances of worry, as they asked themselves when the shadow of their former friend would go away, and the real Rachel come back?

She despised looking at Peter and Sophie when she had to spend time alone with the two of them, and sometimes she would even catch their eye as they stared at her across the table. She would look at them during their 'session's and the way they tried to sympathize with her, the way they would try to help but the three of them knew they couldn't. She hated being in the place that reminded her the most of who she was before, just like she used to hate being at home because it used to remind her of what she could have been. She hated everything and everyone, including herself.

She knew she had to get away, she just knew it. She also knew that before she did, she would have to recover, just to give away the hope that she would be okay. She knew that she would have to go far away, and she wouldn't be able to stay in contact with anyone if she was going to make a brand new start. And that was when she decided, as she looked down at the food in front of her, that she was going to get away from this nightmare. Not only was she going to leave, but she would be a new person. She would change her name, her personality, her life.

She bit her lip in thought as she took another bite, her head still down as she thought. And she never knew how It came to her but she decided who she was going to be, _Maria Shuester._

~ .. ~

Rachel sighed as she looked at Sophie's face and then back down at the scales. She knew she would never graduate if she didn't gain weight, but was all happening so slowly. It seemed no matter how much she hate, she didn't seem to be gaining weight as quickly as she longed to.

She smiled every time she thought about becoming a new person; she already knew that when she graduated, she would be moving to Ohio with her dad – she had already phoned him and he had agreed. She was going to change her name while she was there, something else her dad agreed to after she explained why.

Then, she was going to get a scholarship, probably for musical theatre, and she would go to college one day. She had everything planned – Maria Shuester was an only child, she lives with her happilu married parents in Ohio. She didn't know why, but it seemed fitting to the character she imagined in her head.

She was intelligent, confident and happy; she was everything Rachel wasn't. She was normal, she wasn't abused, she wasn't a whore, she was just a girl who grew up like everyone else. She was anything as long as she wasn't Rachel. People would respect her, they would see her as a popular and happy girl. They wouldn't look down on her and her family, thinking that they were nothing more than scum. It wouldn't happen anymore because she was no longer that girl.

She stared down at the name she had written in her diary a few times – Maria Shuester was her chance of a new life, Maria would be perfect. Maria Shuester – Maria from West Side Story, of course, and Shuester was her dad's name, it only made sense to take on his name now. She kept repeating it to herself, trying to get herself used to it. She knew it wouldn't be long until that day, the day she was able to leave this place, the day she wouldn't think about Rachel anymore. Rachel was disgusting, she was a whore, a horrible person.. she wouldn't exist for much longer. She could close her eyes to this life, and open her eyes to a new one.

_~ .. ~_

_Four months later_

Rachel grinned at Sophie and Peter as she jumped off the scales, the whole group was exactly one week from graduation and she finally hit one-hundred-five pounds. "Does this mean I can leave?" She heard the eagerness in her own voice, hoping they wouldn't take it the wrong way.

Peter was surprised by the progress as he nodded, "Yes, it does." Neither him or Sophie knew of the girls plans to disappear off the face of the earth as soon as she left this place. She didn't want to tell anyone in case they tried to look for her in future. It was best if she was gone, it was better for everyone – including herself.

"Can I phone my dad?"

"Your mom phoned.. she was going to pick you up." Rachel cursed herself silently, she had forgotten about her mother.

"Don't tell her where I'm going.. you can't do that.. just tell her I have stuff sorted, please?" Sophie nodded reluctantly, wondering what the girl as up to.

"You know James is gone, don't you?" Rachel just shook her head and rolled her eyes, "You don't know my mother, Sophie.. he'll be back soon. Which is why it's best for me to go and stay with my dad until I finish school."

"Why don't you want your mom to know?"

"You two ask a lot of questions.. and because, if she knew that, then she would want to bring me back home, and I just need to move on." In more ways than one, she silently added, rolling her eyes as she folded her arms over her chest. "Can I please phone him?" Peter nodded and handed her the phone, watching her carefully.

She grinned, as she dialed the number quickly, smiling when she heard his voice on the other end, "Daddy?" She said, ignoring the other two people who still hadn't left the room. "I made it to my goal weight, I can graduate now. Are you going to be okay to pick me up?" She listened to the voice on the other end, her smiling getting wider when she heard what he had to say. She was sort of worried he would decide he didn't want her but when he promised he would be there, she knew it was the truth.

"Yes.. that would be great, daddy... I love you too, see you next week... yes, here he is. Bye..." She turned around, handing the phone to Peter, "He wants to check in with you." She shrugged, biting her lip.

"Yes, she is doing really well.. no, I don't think that is going to be a problem anymore.. I really appreciate you doing this for her.. it's a wise choice... she is an amazing girl, sir.. I look forward to meeting you too, goodbye for now."

Her smile still wasn't gone as he hung up the phone, "Can I go now?" She ran out the moment they both nodded.

"She's happy."

"Her dad is a good man, he will take care of her.. she will be fine."

"At least that is one person we don't have to worry about." Sophie muttered as she walked over to Peter, resting her head on his chest. "I just hope she calls or something, I will miss her so much."

~ .. ~

Rachel looked at herself in the large mirror, patting down the dress she wore as she admired her new figure. She wondered how long it would take her dad to stop calling her Rachel, he understood better than she thought he would and he had agreed with her. The change of name would do her good, change was always good.

It was graduation day, the day she had been waiting for. She knew that her goodbyes would probably be the only real ones but she wouldn't cry because they were Rachel's friends, yes.. they were all amazing but they all knew about Rachel. She would just have to pretend that they didn't exist – sacrifices would have to be made. She grinned at herself,

"Hello, my name is Maria Shuester..." She said to herself, looking into her eyes, "Maria..." She whispered, biting her lip. "Maria." She grinned, it was perfect. She sighed again, looking down at herself before turning around, knowing that when she said goodbye, when she turned her back on Horizon, she would be turning her back on Rachel Berry as well.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

_Turning my back on you. _

Rachel looked out of the window of her dads car, a tear finding it's way down her pale cheeks. She sighed loudly, smiling at her dad as he put a hand on hers. "You're doing the right thing, honey." He reassured her,

"I know.. I.. I hope so, anyway. I just want to forget, I want a life when I'm older and as this, as Rachel Berry, I won't be able to have that." He nodded and bit down on his lip,

"I understand.. it's going to be so hard calling you Maria, though."

She grinned and shrugged, "I'm going to have to get used to it, too." She hated everything to do with her past life, she wouldn't keep any of it – not even her last name. For the first time ever, she found herself glad that her dad had never been around for this, he was too busy with his job and he lived so far away; it was a good thing or she wouldn't have been able to make a new start. She would have been all alone and stuck as Rachel forever.

She looked at him, surprised at how much she looked like the man she had grown to resent for so long now. Now, she owed him everything, he was the one who sent her to Horizon in the first place, and she realized it was the right thing, and now he was taking her home with him just like she had always wanted. He was finally going to be the daddy she always wanted, and he was going to be the only man apart from Peter who didn't abuse her, or use her for sex.

"This is going to be great, I only wish I had gotten my new job a little sooner, it could have prevented so much." He looked down as he drove, ashamed that he let his daughter down so much. He should have been there to save her, he should have been able to prevent what happened. He hated the fact he had put his career before her, he hated James even more though. It took everything he had in him to stop himself driving to that house and murdering that man.

"It doesn't matter daddy, you're here now." She smiled at him and he nodded,

"It never should have happened in the first place."

"Well, now I can begin to move on." She whispered, and he wondered if they were doing the right thing, he didn't believe it was right for her to try and suppress the memories that had made her who she was today but then, he knew that as a seventeen year old girl, she had the right to choose what she wanted and he could not deny her this one wish. He knew one thing about his daughter – she hated her life, she hated herself. He had no right to tell her to stay as Rachel Berry, he couldn't do that to her.

"Things are going to be okay from now on... when we get home.. can we go shopping or something? I need clothes.." She blushed at the thought of asking him for money, he had plenty of it but she never asked for anything from anyone.

"Of course, do you want Emma to go with you?" She nodded slowly, Emma was his girlfriend who she had yet to meet.

"Does she know about me?"

"No, she knows you as Maria... I told her that you have been to a boarding school and have fallen out with your mother, so you asked to move in with me once I started my new job." She grinned and leaned over to kiss his cheek,

"Thank you daddy.. that means so much to me. I would love to go shopping with her." She looked back out of the window, no more tears falling, she knew the memories would still be there but maybe if she pretended enough, they would go away. Maybe. She would find a way to move on – to forget Kurt, Finn, Peter, Sophie, Rachel Berry, her mother, her step-father, her life. She would forget the whole thing. She would be the person she was before this whole thing began. She would be.

_The end. _

_A/N: I think a sequel would be suiting to this story but I'm not too sure if this story is being read enough – so if you think there should be one, just let me know._


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